Friday, October 17, 2008

The Gossip Chain

Stumble It!
I've never been one to gossip, i'm more of a secret keeper. You tell me something in confidence, it doesn't leave my mouth. Usually I end up forgetting about it, and no one is the wiser that you even had a secret. "My Herd" on the other hand. Boy howdie. Today was like watching fire run rampant through the streets of San Fransisco.
(If your unfamiliar with My Herd, you can read introductions all around, or go with the condensed version of I have alot of kids ranging in ages from 18 to 23 that consider me mom)
So, first phone call of the morning. "OMG!" (really put some emphasis on that part) "I have to tell you something, but it's a secret, and I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but!...(dramatic pause..lowering of voice) K's pregnant. BUT DON'T TELL ANYBODY!"
I couldn't of told anybody anything anyways, I could barely get my jaw off the floor. "she wants to tell you herself..okay I gotta go..bye!"
I wish that I could put in some soap opera music here, it would be so appropriate.
10 minutes later. "Memaw? Hi, it's K. (dramatic pause, dramatic pause, dramatic pause) Um, I wanted to tell you that your going to be a Grandma...."BUT DON'T TELL ANYBODY!" Maybe it was a good thing I was prepared, or I could of accidently swallowed the phone.
I, being the good secret keeper that I am, went outside to respond, since my youngest sons girlfriend was in the same room with me at the time. I quietly told her that I really couldn't say anything, because she was here, and didn't want to give anything away. Girlfriend with gossip radar comes outside, so I mention as much without trying to be obvious. "It's okay, I was going to tell her next." (Why is this such a secret then?) I mouth that K's pregnant, and WHAM! the cellphone is out, and I can see smoke coming off the thing she's dialing so fast.
3 of the Girl Herd are alerted immediately, with OMG! in every other breath.
My phone call is ended with the promise of her coming to visit tonight so she can personally tell Pappy, since you know, this is a secret.
10 minutes later. A phone call from one of my boys who now lives about 200 miles away from me. "DID YOU HEAR????"
(Girlfriend is STILL on her cell phone probably alerting long lost aquaintances in Mongolia)
At this point it is only 11:15am, and if there's one person on the planet that doesn't know by now, it's because they didn't answer their phone. (check your voicemail!)
I was planning on having left overs for dinner tonight, but now I'm going to have to prepare a
smorgasbord of food, because I know that everyone who DOESN'T KNOW THE SECRET will be here acting all casual like, waiting for the breaking news.
I haven't told my hubby. I'm not sure if I should, it being a secret and all, and her wanting to tell him in person.
On the other hand, I'd really rather he didn't choke on his beer tonight and fall off the chair either. He has a real case of the protective daddy in him with "his girls", and will probably spontaneously sprout several more gray hairs at the news.
Ah, gossip. If this is what makes the world go round, I'll make sure to keep my mouth shut at all times. yikes.
Tonight shall be very interesting.

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