Monday, September 15, 2008

Monday Morning, I Hate You

It's only 7:30am and all ready I am completely discontent with the day.
I had my alarm set for 6:45am knowing that the eldest's phlebotomist would be by at 7:15 to draw his blood. (He has a blood draw once a month to check on his white blood count for a medication he takes)
when BoiNG the doorbell goes off at 6:46. Crap. I like to be completely dressed, coiffed, teeth fresh before she gets here, not an ogre with stale breath and hair sticking on end.
I grabbed my bathrobe, shrugged it on, and couldn't get my arms through the sleeves. It's impossible to open the bedroom door when all your hands are doing is flopping around trying to find how to get out.
I managed to get the door open while flailing about, ran down the hall yelling at the kid to get up, and got to the front door in about 45 seconds. I am a genius.
After the blood draw, and percursory chit chat, she left and I grabbed a smoke to sit outside and try and wake up.
This is when I noticed (and was mortified) to see that my bathrobe has more food all over it than Burger King has on the floor after a lunch rush.
Did I mention I was mortified?
You see, I haven't wore this bathrobe for about 6 months. It just sits there on its little hook in the bedroom looking all cozy and cute all by itself.
My husband on the other hand. Well we can see where this is going, can't we?
He is a total midnight snacker, and while I'm sure the bathrobe is warm in the middle of the night, he's got to look like a complete douche bag all dressed up in purple fluff.
Why can't he walk around in his underwear like other husbands?
And if he's going to wear my purple fluff, could he at least not use it for a drop cloth/napkin?? EwWww.
(Now I know why the sleeves were inside out..he was hiding the evidence. The sneak.)
I would like to conclude with the fact that while finding my bathrobe in a complete mess, it wasn't as bad as getting my first cup of coffee this morning and seeing a lake of cat piss on top of the stove. If you haven't read my blog "Counter Attack" I would recommend that you catch up on how much this makes me feel homicidal.
Onto other things. I watched the "Fringe" season premiere last night (yeah, I missed the one last week, thank you oh tv god for a re-run) and it was awesome!
A little bit of the "X Files" and "The Outer Limits" all swirled into one. I can see where I'm going to be glued to the tv for the Fall season. Anyone else impressed?
And "House" starts on Tuesday! This one I'm a bit confused on. The computer says its September 25th, but the television swears it's tomorrow. Oh the nail biting!
Then "CSI Miami" on the 22nd. (I heard Horatio dies...OMG NO!)
I am ashamed to say I missed the premiere of CSI (Las Vegas) last week. I got a text at 11pm that night: "Did you see it??? it was totally awesome!!!"
I would at least think I'd get a text before the show started. We all know what a bubble head I can be, hmph!
On that note, I think it's time for me to get out the hazmat suit and clean the stove, and the laundry pre-wash for the bathrobe.
I wish I had a wife.

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