Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Today Was A Great Day!

Spectacular even. I have been nail biting worried about my eldest sons
job being cut with a company merger that has been in the works for
months now.He found out today that his employment is secure, even if he doesn't
continue in the department he is in now. WHEW. (others were not so
lucky I'm sad to say)
I cannot even begin to express how relieved this makes me feel. It is
so difficult to find programs in our area that cater and train those
with brain injuries. It took much too long (in my sons opinion) to gain
the employment where he is now, and he didn't want to start over in
the program he was in that found him this job. He see's the world much
differently than "normal" people. Things are supposed to happen NOW.
Meetings suck, volunteer work sucks, anything that isn't bringing in
that all mighty paycheck SUCKS.
He has the best work ethic I have ever seen. Always early, never calls
in sick, does what he's supposed to do most of the time. Unfortunately
having a brain injury, he still suffers with memory problems, and has
to be re-directed and helped to focus on a regular basis. Like me,
after I've had too much coffee!
I'm really proud of him. Someday I might be able to blog about "His
Long story short, because I cannot bring myself to think about it STILL;
Back in 2001 he was coming home on the bus from his first day of
work at Goodwill, (he has some other disabilites) and when he got off
the bus, he bolted across our very busy Main street without regard for
traffic. Pedestrian versus a Camaro going 45 miles an hour.
The car won.
It hit his legs first, then his head went through the windshield.
He was on life support and in a coma for 8 days. Oh crap.
I can't write about it anymore, the memories still hurt so much.
Never the less, he lived, and I love him more than my life.
The end.
And more importantly, the begining.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Rusted Root

The youngest son and I were sitting around last night watching music videos on the internet, since we have no life, and I threw out Rusted Root "Send Me On My Way" for next play. I have loved that song since it came out. It was in the movie "Ice Age," when was that?
It's one of those songs that once it gets started, you can NOT be in a bad mood. I hadn't seen the video for it before, and it was just as entertaining as the song. Not for the mere fact that nothing glorious happened in it, but because it reminded me of our large group of kids when we are all hanging out together camping. Must be something in the air up there that makes you feel like you should dance around like an idiot, and feel good about it...*lol*
I would also add here, that I sang the lyrics wrong for the first 6 months after I first heard it. In the second paragraph it goes:

Well I would like to hold my little, hand
I will run I will. I will cry I will.
I would like to hold my little, hand.
I will run I will. I will cry.
Send me on my way, on my way

I heard:

Well I would like to hold my little, Lion
I will run I will. I will cry I will.
I would like to hold my little, Lion.
I will run I will. I will cry.
Send me on my way, on my way

And it stuck. Everyone sings it with "lion" instead of "hand". I think it makes it more interesting that way, more unique, more me. Now I said unique, but you heard blonde, right?

via videosift.com

Friday, September 26, 2008

Pinky Swears

My birthday is coming up soon (October 10th) and I'll be turning the big 45. Which is grand, I don't mind getting older, it's the face wrinkles and creaking bones I can do without.
My youngest son has been torturing me for a week with something that he has planned. He's terrible at keeping secrets, so I really didn't think he'd last this long without spilling the beans. I've gotten some scary hints. 1. We have to go someplace. 2. I'm going to meet someone I've never met that may or may not creep me out. 3. He's spent days negotiating with this person because it's my birthday. Finally he couldn't contain himself anymore last night, and in order for me to know what he/we are doing I had to pinky swear I wouldn't back out. I had to think about this for a good 10 minutes and slug back a beer. (or two)
A pinky swear! You do not break a pinky swear in this household. It is the word of God. (Or the Great Pumpkin, depends on your mind set.)
My curiosity got the better of me, so I did it. The Pinky Swear.
And what's behind curtain three? He's taking me down to High Priestess to get my nosed pierced! And he's getting a huge discount (the negotiation) and I get to pick out any jewel..ANY jewel I want. (more negotiation) Now I know why I had to pinky swear. Being the big weenie that I am, I have backed out of this at the last moment for the last two years. I have wanted a nose piercing for who knows how long, I think that they are absolutely gorgeous. On the other hand, having a man (who may or may not creep me out) with a needle, thiiiiiiiiiiis close to my face rather scares me.
I brought up the old "but what if it hurts" argument, which got me nowhere. Response: "Jesus H. Christ Mom, you've sat in a room for 2 1/2 hours getting a tattoo, do you really think you can't handle it?" (I always wondered what the "H" stands for, haven't you?)
Yes, anyways, I'm not backing out (The Great Pumpkin would not allow this) and I shall be bejewelled in two weeks.
I'll be fine after it's done. And besides, my son told me the man who may or may not creep me out has more piercings than skin, and his tongue is split like a snake, so he can move both sides independently. What is there to be afraid of?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Anal Bleaching.....Whaaaat?

Yes folks, you heard me right. Anal Bleaching.
I would like to back up here a bit, and say that I was not specifically on the internet looking for an anal bleaching kit. I had no idea there was such a thing. Heck, I didn't even know what a brazilian wax was until a couple weeks ago. (I really need to get out more.)
I was actually looking for party ideas for an upcoming Halloween bash that I'm going to be hosting. (no, these will NOT be the party favors)
I had landed at Extreme Pumpkins, when scrolling down I saw that this person also runs a private drugstore, caters to those looking for romantic gifts and bachelorette party items. Curiosity made me click.
and then, there it is...Anal Bleaching Cream. whaaat? "CLICK"
According to the description this is the latest cosmetic trend. Cream your anus to look younger. To Look Younger.
Phbbbbt. And all these years I've been bleaching my teeth to look great. What was I thinking??
I can just see the me of the future! Someone comes up and says "why DJ you look so much younger! What did you do?! New haircut? manicure? brazilian wax??"
Me with a new burst of confidence I didn't have before treatment: "Oh martha, no! I've been bleaching my anus!"
(Do you whip your pants down here? I haven't figured that part out yet.)
Honestly, I had to wonder if people actually bought these kind of things, but there are, and I kid you not,
Customer Reviews.
There are no before and after pictures, so I don't know if this product actually works. Why are there no before and after pictures? If your going to spend 10 bucks on something, don't you want to know if it actually works??
Okay, I'm done giggling now. Please...do NOT send me your before and after pictures. I don't think I could handle it.

Stumble It!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Wildfire Update

If you've been keeping up with me here, my last post was about the Royce Butte Wildfire that erupted on September 16, near Crescent Lake Junction. It's ferocity forced the evacuation of over 100 homes and businesses, and is about 12 miles from property that my family owns.
I'm happy to report that it is now 80% contained according to the Northwest Interagency Coordination Center. I originally heard that the fire had burned 600 acres, but according to this website it is 381. With a crew of almost 400 people, they expect that it will be contained sometime today. Whew. Still don't know much about where the fire headed, so do we have a cabin still? That remains to be seen. (I never heard that it jumped the Cresent Cut Off Road, so I'm crossing my fingers.)
I contacted Mark Bolton who owns the Odell Sportsman Center after seeing pictures that he took of the fire to ask permission to post them here. (originally posted over at KVAL.com)
He kindly agreed. Thank you Mr. Bolton.
I can't even imagine what was going through his head while the fire is charging at the sky right across the street from his market. I remember when he lost his store back in 2005 due to an electrical fire, while he and his wife were on vacation for the first time in eons. Thank goodness they were not so unfortunate this time.
(We should be up in October Mr. Bolton...stock up on the ice and beer!)
As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, so without further ado: The Royce Butte Fire in all her glory.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Up In Flames

And as of last night when I was glued to the internet and television looking for information, it was only about 12 miles from our cabin where my husband and I have 5 acres of land. The picture I have posted today is in Crescent Lake Junction, at a little store called The Odell Sportsman where we always stop at to get ice and munchies when we go camping. If you read my blog called Labor Day Weekend, the pic posted there is the store across the street where flames are practically licking at the back door right now. From what I gather it was started by human error, (damn us humans) and has caused Highway 58 to be shut down for quite a few miles. People are being evacuated from lodges, campgrounds, and those with homes. I can't tell if the fire is travelling exactly towards the cabin, but so far it's not under control and has burned at least 600 acres. My family sat around last night staring at each other wondering if there is going to be anything left of our most favorite place in the world. My folks bought the place when I was about 8 years old, and it was recently signed over to my husband and I to carry on the legacy. (We got the new deed 2 weeks ago)
We have worked our tails off to clean the place up, adhere to new fire regulations, and of course drink copious amounts of alcohol with our friends at the end of the day.
Plans were being made to go up in October with our giant crew of hard working kids when the rains finally hit, so we could spend mega amounts of time burning all the slash piles that have been made over the summer. (<--extraordinarily long sentence) I have a terrible feeling Mother Nature may be taking care of that herself right now. No more cabin that my dad built when I was a kid, no more sleeping bunk my husband made for us when I got too old to sleep in a tent. The old outhouse with signatures of everyone who's ever taken a crap in it. And the thing that will hurt the most. A journal that has been sitting in the old bread box, with entries made by anyone who has ever come up in the last 37 or so years. The tools, bbq, tents, food, (etc) can all be replaced. The memories will still be in my head of all the good times.
Will I be able to cope with looking at a charred piece of my heart when we can go back up? I think that might sting just a little bit.
I'll update this when I have more information

Monday, September 15, 2008

Monday Morning, I Hate You

It's only 7:30am and all ready I am completely discontent with the day.
I had my alarm set for 6:45am knowing that the eldest's phlebotomist would be by at 7:15 to draw his blood. (He has a blood draw once a month to check on his white blood count for a medication he takes)
when BoiNG the doorbell goes off at 6:46. Crap. I like to be completely dressed, coiffed, teeth fresh before she gets here, not an ogre with stale breath and hair sticking on end.
I grabbed my bathrobe, shrugged it on, and couldn't get my arms through the sleeves. It's impossible to open the bedroom door when all your hands are doing is flopping around trying to find how to get out.
I managed to get the door open while flailing about, ran down the hall yelling at the kid to get up, and got to the front door in about 45 seconds. I am a genius.
After the blood draw, and percursory chit chat, she left and I grabbed a smoke to sit outside and try and wake up.
This is when I noticed (and was mortified) to see that my bathrobe has more food all over it than Burger King has on the floor after a lunch rush.
Did I mention I was mortified?
You see, I haven't wore this bathrobe for about 6 months. It just sits there on its little hook in the bedroom looking all cozy and cute all by itself.
My husband on the other hand. Well we can see where this is going, can't we?
He is a total midnight snacker, and while I'm sure the bathrobe is warm in the middle of the night, he's got to look like a complete douche bag all dressed up in purple fluff.
Why can't he walk around in his underwear like other husbands?
And if he's going to wear my purple fluff, could he at least not use it for a drop cloth/napkin?? EwWww.
(Now I know why the sleeves were inside out..he was hiding the evidence. The sneak.)
I would like to conclude with the fact that while finding my bathrobe in a complete mess, it wasn't as bad as getting my first cup of coffee this morning and seeing a lake of cat piss on top of the stove. If you haven't read my blog "Counter Attack" I would recommend that you catch up on how much this makes me feel homicidal.
Onto other things. I watched the "Fringe" season premiere last night (yeah, I missed the one last week, thank you oh tv god for a re-run) and it was awesome!
A little bit of the "X Files" and "The Outer Limits" all swirled into one. I can see where I'm going to be glued to the tv for the Fall season. Anyone else impressed?
And "House" starts on Tuesday! This one I'm a bit confused on. The computer says its September 25th, but the television swears it's tomorrow. Oh the nail biting!
Then "CSI Miami" on the 22nd. (I heard Horatio dies...OMG NO!)
I am ashamed to say I missed the premiere of CSI (Las Vegas) last week. I got a text at 11pm that night: "Did you see it??? it was totally awesome!!!"
I would at least think I'd get a text before the show started. We all know what a bubble head I can be, hmph!
On that note, I think it's time for me to get out the hazmat suit and clean the stove, and the laundry pre-wash for the bathrobe.
I wish I had a wife.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

My Feel Better Campaign: Day 3

Today is day 3 of my Campaign to Make Me Feel Better.
This entails taking my multi-vitamins everyday. My calcium chewie, (which tastes like ass) my echinacea and vitamin C to build up my immune system, and my ignatia for prolonged grief, emotional upset, and sleeplessness.
(I would also like to add that it does not entail giving up my cigarettes or alcohol. A girl can only do so many things at once.)
So far so good. I've only forgotten my calcium once, and that's because as I might have mentioned - it tastes like ass.
I finally came to this Feel Better Campaign decision, because of my mother. She's the only one that can sympathize with all the crap that goes on over here, and that I am the one who takes care of every one else. I always forget, and she reminds me, that if I don't take care of myself, no one else will. If I feel like a possum being drug under an 18 wheeler, that's where I will stay.
Physician Heal Thyself!
I know these things, and yet it always takes my mom basically shaking my scruff to make me wake up and see what I'm doing to myself. Or not doing for myself. Thank you Mom...you are a rock. I don't know what I'd do without you.
I do hope by sticking to this little program, that maybe I can look in the mirror one of these days and not see some haggard old lady looking back at me.
I already eat pretty well. I am a veggie hound, prefer chicken and pork to beef, and have been on a low sodium diet for over a year.
Water is my friend, and I think I put away about a gallon a day. Hydration is important, because I know I dehydrate myself every night with beer. (I've never understood how something that is 90 percent water can cause dehydration, but then I'm no rocket scientist either.)
In doing more for me, I've also found a great site online called Sound Sleeping "sounds to promote sleep and relaxation."
They have 15, 36 and 65 minute mp3's that are cheap! I downloaded the 65 minute Harmony/Evening bonfire with alpha tones to promote stress relief for a mere $3.99. Try getting that out of a store bought CD.
And it is really relaxing. Even the cats love it. They all toddle into the living room when I turn it on, and promptly dive into a sun drenched area to snooze.
I plan on downloading some more when payday gets here...hey this is all about me, remember?
(and I can't feel too guilty about spending 4 bucks, right?)
Mom also wants me to start walking with her again. I told her that she is going to have to be mean and force me, because I have no desire. I'm tired and depressed, and the last thing I want to do is trek 2 miles a day and whine because it kills my hips. (That damned Fibromyalgia again)
And then restart the Tai Chi. Well, if you've ever seen a monkey doing ballet, then you've seen me try to do Tai Chi. We once spent an entire year practicing from one Tai Chi CD, and still couldn't do the whole thing right to the end.
I think we spent more time laughing at ourselves than anything. Maybe that's not a bad thing. It would be nice to laugh again.
And last but not least, I emailed a long time internet friend from Pennsylvania, and gave him my cell number. (Yep, another one of those wonderful people I met at Beauty's Castle Chat eons ago!)
He always makes me feel happy when we chat, and I miss him terribly. So, since we never get the time to connect online, well, it would make sense on my Feel Better Campaign to be able to text each other off and on and make each other smile this way.
At last I have goals.
Will I stick with them?
I want to.
I know I can't change what is going on in my life, but I can change how I deal with it.
Wish me luck :)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Counter Attack!

Sheba looking inncocent---> Sometimes I hate being a cat owner. Days like yesterday make me want to get a sling shot and a cork. Sheba my adorable little monster has taken it upon herself to piss on the kitchen counter AGAIN. Now my husband always blames Petunia because we have never caught either one of them in the act. Sheba is his cat, and she would never do anything like that. MMhmmm. She doesn't pee all over the bathroom rug every time I wash it either, does she? I've caught her!!! ( I also like to bring up the fact when I'm all mad that all three of the cats are his, because I was never asked if I wanted a cat.) I know it's not Mischief our 14 year old male, because it's an olympian effort for him to even jump on the couch. Regardless of these minor facts, it is always me that gets left to clean up these wee messes. (wee..get it?)

I could smell cat pee all afternoon, but couldn't find the source. Not behind (or on) the coffee maker, not behind (or on) the microwave, not all over my spice bottles. Hmmm. Must be my imagination. As I was putting dishes away, I grabbed the thermos to put into it's little leather carry bag, and cat piss dribbles all over my fingers, down my wrist and onto the counter. You have no idea of the EWwWw factor here. And then I get angry. Gawdamn freaking mother bleeping blippity blip son of a beeeeeeeeeeeep! I have a real thing about my kitchen being spotless. I run it like a restaurant, and I want it clean clean clean, and germ free. Nothing grosses me out more than a cat using my counters for the litter box. I cook here for for goodness sake! The next hour is spent with the sopping up of the dribbles, the spraying of "out" (a natural bacterial enzyme made to basically eat pee) the rinsing, bleaching, and repeating. I told you, i'm insane about my kitchen being clean. ugh! For all of you out there that are going to tell me that she needs to be taken to the vet to rule out any problems, I have. I've taken both the girls, and they are fit as fiddles. We have two litter boxes for 3 cats, use the same unscented litter all of the time, and I empty the boxes twice a day. So it must be a behavioral problem. Either that, or she is just a total bitch. I'm going for the latter. I finally found a site last night that perhaps might be my savior. It's called Cat Faeries. Good behavior and good health for the modern housecat. According to the information I found there, cats produce pheromones in three parts of their bodies. The pheromones from their cheeks give the friendly message of "Hi there, I like you, I'm happy." The pheromones that come out with their urine and feces are very different and tell other cats "Hey buddy, this is my territory." So they sell this spray called Feliway that uses the happy pheromones to use where they have been peeing inappropriately. I'm liking the sound of it all ready. There's alot of great information at their site, and if you have a cat I would recommend it even if your not buying anything. I like places that go all natural. They even sell special music for your kitties to listen to while your away at work to keep them calm and happy. And crystals! I've never worked with crystals before, but I just might try one of those too. Diffusers? Well yes, they have those too, it's a kitty paradise. I spoke to the husband about trying out some of these products and got the silent but shouting look of "good gawd, paper towels aren't good enough for you anymore???" If anyone out there in internet land has ever tried any of the products at Cat Faeries, I sure would like to hear from you. They have great testimonials, but you know...they aren't going to publish anything that is less than stupendous.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Labor Day Weekend Camping Trip

What kind of fun can you have camping at the cabin in Eastern Oregon with your husband and 10 kids ranging in ages from 18 to 23? The excitement never ends!
Neither does the frustration.
Hubby forgot to leave me the keys to the gate at the cabin, and since I'm leaving earlier than everyone else, he had to drive home on his lunch break to drop them off.
Did I say I was leaving early?
I had grand plans of leaving home by 4:30 so I could get up there early enough to unpack what I had, get camp organized, and start dinner for the 12 of us before everyone else rolled in.
At 4:45pm the youngest's girlfriend informs me that she has forgotten her backpack at a friends house, and hasn't even packed yet because she's dying of a hangover, and been lying half comatose on the couch all afternoon.
I don't know why we need this particular backpack, whats wrong with a paper sack? We're going camping, not to the Hilton. (And a hangover is no excuse...I know these things because I have them on a regular basis. Hmph.)
SooOoo, I have to wait for her and one of the boys she conned into driving her to get back. 5:00pm rolls around. 5:10pm passes. 5:15pm and I'm getting a tad irritated. At this rate the husband will be home before we ever leave. All the other kids are foot stomping and frothing at the mouth when she finally shows back up. Pack already!
We're out of here 3 minutes before the hubby shows up. We're off to great start.
The two kids driving in front of me blast out of here like they are on fire, and the two behind me don't know the way up so I'm their guide. (The other kids are following the hubby)
We get up to Jasper Road, and it's completely blocked. WTF? The new extension road is apparently open now (thanks for telling me Oregon Highway Department) and I have to whip an illegal U-turn and drive a couple miles back to the new road. The kids that were in front of me ring up my cellphone about then to tell me the road is closed. I kinda figured that one out on my own, but thanks.
Everything is going smoothly for the next 45 miles ...we're headed up the Willamette Pass at a good clip, with hardly any traffic. yay! (it's an 80 mile drive)
I keep checking the rear view mirror to make sure the newbie boys are still behind me.
And then they aren't. Slooooooow down to 35 miles per hour. Still not there. Find a place that's wide enough to pull over and wait.
20 minutes go by. We're in the dead zone for cell service. What the hell happened back there? I'm getting all paranoid about them wrecking, a flat tire, the car blew up, what?
A State Trooper pulls in behind me to see if we're broke down. "Nope, but did you happen to see a little red ford back there broke down?" Of course not, he has his head up his butt, and off he goes.
Then I see a red Ford pickup flying past us. It's my husband and youngest son barreling by. I wave them down, but by then they can't stop. Shit.
Wait a little longer. Okay, we're going to have to go up a little higher on the pass and try to get some cell service. After going around a particularly hairy corner I see that the husband is pulled to the side of the road (Where Mr. State Trooper happened to have perched with his radar gun after being so helpful) but they are pulling away! StOp StOP STOP! No luck.
I followed them for another 5 miles before we're all at the top of the pass and there's a place to pull over. (And WHOOOOSH..there goes another truck full of our kids, but not the one's I'm looking for!)
After much consulting, I'm to continue up to the cabin, while he turns around to find out what the hell happened. Good plan.
We stopped at Crescent Lake Junction to get some ice at The Odell Sportsman, and walk around the parking lot looking for a cell signal to let the kids that were in front of us know we're going to be late late late, but we're on our way. (I knew I should of given them the gate keys)
They had stopped in Oakridge, about 20 miles back, and were actually behind us! They saw my missing kids pulled over with a State Trooper when they blew by, and were about 5 minutes from where we are. I waited for them to see what happened. Apparently the radiator was overheating, so they had to get coolant from the store, drive back down the mountain, and get the beast running again. I tried calling the hubby to let him know the kids were driving back down, so he could turn around, but of course they are still in the dead zone. FINE. You guys all do what you have to do, I HAVE GOT to get to the cabin before my bladder explodes. (public restrooms? probably, but I have a paranoia about such things)
Needless to say, when everyone finally made it to the cabin, it was pitch black, and we had to set up camp and cook by the light of a small lantern. (We have no running water or electricity up here. Very primitive.) After everyone got settled down, and the beer was flowing, the rest of the evening was pretty damned nice.
Except for the cold. I've never been camping on Labor Day weekend when it's only 34 degree's at night. And me, with no long underwear.
Mother Nature, you are my hero.
No, wait..beer is my hero.
The rest of the weekend you ask? Let's just say that we're going again this Friday, and it better be nicer than this camp trip was.