Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Being Tired is for Wimps...

But I'm so tired. I was so excited last night because I was going to have the house allllllll to myself till I picked up the eldest from work at 12:30pm. The thrill of it all! I never have the house to myself! Then I spent most of the night tossing and turning because of restless leg syndrome decided to make an appearance. There is no possible way to sleep when your legs are jerking all over the place, and it feels like bugs are crawling all over them. I think I finally fell asleep around 2am or so from sheer exhaustion, when my left calf decided to seize up and cramp. That will wake you right up out of a dead sleep. I can never find a way to relieve the spasms, so I have to bolt out of bed and do whatever contortion I can think of while gritting my teeth so I don't wake up my husband. I don't know why I'm having such bad leg/foot cramps lately. Probably associated with Fibromyalgia. Isn't everything?
There were a few more spasms, but not as bad as that one. I felt like a zombie when the alarm went off at 7am, and then a lovely spell of vertigo attacked me when I sat up. I haven't had THAT problem in over 2 months. Today is not going to be a good day. Who cares if you get the house to yourself when you feel like crap. Not that I was alone. *sigh* One of the younger son's friends was asleep on my couch, so when I got back from taking the eldest to work, I snuck up all quiet to my computer to take it into my room, and POP.
He's awake.
And cheerful.
And wants to talk, talk talk.
And talk talk talk we did until noon. He left, and as I am enjoying my alone time for what should be the next 10 minutes, here comes the youngest's girlfriend up the drive. She got told to leave work because she showed up still drunk from the party she was at last night, and was basically getting paid for throwing up all morning.
I was supposed to go shopping today to pick up all the stuff we need for camping this weekend too, but with all this excitement going on, I just want to take a nap. And wish my wooziness would go away.
Instead, I shall go smoke another cigarette (like that will help) and think of something to start making for dinner.
Yay. More company tonight.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

My, What a Little Paint Can Do

I had grand plans of getting alot of much needed yard work done this weekend, since it rained all week, and got stuck painting the bathroom instead. Not that I wasn't happy about it finally getting done, I've wanted to do it forever. The youngest and I had been talking eons ago about when he moved out (as if) how he would like to do his bathroom in shades of brown. I got all excited, and brought home about 400 paint chips to peruse, and let him pick out what he thought would look good. He picked out a chocolate brown for one accent wall, and almost an oatmeal for the ceiling and other walls. Now this was a challenge, because he is partially color blind, and if he chose two colors that looked like crap together, I didn't want to hurt his feelings!
He got the bug on Saturday to paint, so we went down and got our colors mixed. Gawd, paint is expensive these days! Cost me almost $50.00 for two gallons...yipes.
And, as I knew, he got burned out about half through, and I had to finish up. Imagine.
But it looks great, and I feel like I have a very inviting room to go into, instead of those plain white walls, with glass fish staring at me. We used to have a "sea theme" know the kind where your children are small, and tape glow in the dark sea creatures to the wall. Yeah, not very exciting.
The hubby was kind enough to spray the louvre door a nice shade of chocolate. Thank you sweetie! After everything was finished, I asked him what he thought.
"It looks like someone pooped on the walls."
There's always a sceptic.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I Curse You Cookies!

I hate making cookies. I don't know why I even try. I only did today because the youngest son's girlfriend batted those beautiful brown eyes at me this morning before she left for work, and said "cookies?" I am such a sucker!
I don't make them because I possess no talent whatsoever when it comes to throwing something so simple together. It takes 5 minutes. And that's all it takes for me to screw it up. I made peanut butter, (which didn't burn, so that says something) chocolate chip, (or a chocolate chip kind of substance) and oatmeal, which has it's final resting place in the trash can. I can cook ANYTHING. Why is this so hard? I'm sure they will get eaten, since my family doesn't know that a cookie can actually taste good, but it still pisses me off.

On a lighter note, (which does not describe the cookies I made) I got to spend some time online chatting with my buddy from Nebraska! We don't get to chat much anymore since his wife now has a home based business, and doesn't know about me. Now don't get all OOOOOooo...because it's not like that! Nothing sordid goes on, we just have a good time talking about the places we live, where we'd like to go, what the weather is like, hobbies, etc. etc.
I guess we've known each other about 5 or 6 years now. Someday I will have to think back on that. We met at a chatroom called Beauty's Castle, and have kept in touch ever since. Yes, Beauty's Castle is a real place, and maybe tomorrow I'll blog about that, since I spent about 11 years of my life there wearing out my keyboard. Ah, the good ol' days.
Anyways, we leave each other posts, but haven't actually had a one on one chat in about 6 months. He's just one of those people that you can pick up where you left off and not feel awkward. And an awesome cook to boot. (I bet HIS cookies are good) He had a web cam when we talked regularly, and I would watch him while he cooked dinner for him and his wife, or make these awesome desserts. Might sound kind of boring, but I thought it was fun. It was like watching The Food Network, only live!
Ah, more of the good ol' days.
Time to end this and start my own food network challenge: dinner.
Thank gawd I am at least a capable cook...I curse you cookies!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Jon LaJoie

Two posts in one day. Well, I needed something to take my mind off reality for awhile, and what better way to do that then spend some quality time with Jon Lajoie.
If you haven't seen any of this guys video's your really missing out. Not only is he cute, but takes the inane to a higher level...*lol*
I do have to warn you, that the video I have uploaded today does have the word Mother F*cker in it, so if you find that offensive, please don't click!
And without further ado, please enjoy "Everyday Normal Guy" by Jon Lajoie.
See more Jon Lajoie videos at Funny or Die

Going Off The Deep End...

I'm feeling so depressed today I just want to crawl in a hole and die. There are too many things going on around here that require me to have patience and be a soundboard for other people. I don't think anyone realizes that eventually I get overwhelmed and can't handle all the emotions that get dumped on me. I try, I really do, and then I end up having days like this.
The hubby went off last night about his job, and once again has come to a point where he wants to quit. He really is going to quit. The raw emotion was enough to make me take a step backward. I fear for the future as I always do when it comes to "being poor." I am one of those people that can't handle not having a few bucks in the bank for an emergency, and I HATE it when a credit card comes out. (I don't use them, but you know who does) He won't tell me how much is on the cards when I ask, just says they will get paid. What the hell does that mean? I dread having to live off credit, and *gasp* being in a position where we could lose our house again. Those days are over, and I want them to stay over!
Then being the libra I am, I have to work through the opposites. (while I sit here crying on my keyboard) If he's not happy, nobody is going to be happy. His depression affects everyone in the house, and I can't stand to see him so miserable. The only thing he talks about is how much he hates work and I understand it's time for him to go.
I hate being nice all the time, when all I want is to scream and stomp my feet. WHAT ABOUT ME? Doesn't anyone care about how I feel???
I have so much on my plate right now. Did anyone remember that I'm also trying to keep the eldests head together with his imminent lay off from work next month? With this company buy-out, I have a terrible feeling that his position is going to be eliminated permanently, and where does that leave me? Back to keeping his emotions level, the never ending meetings of trying to find him another job that's suitable for people with brain injuries, and his constant fear of never earning another dollar.
I feel like I have no life, because I'm constantly being brain drained by everyone else that needs me. But that's my job isn't it? As I sit here and feel sorry for myself, I know that I will pick up my emotional baggage and store it in a compartment that says "do not open." I wonder if I can even get anything else in there.

Where's the Tylenol.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Good Morning?

This morning started out splendidly. I personally don't believe in mornings, so this one was especially nice. I always take the eldest to work in the mornings at 8am, and today was no different. What was different was the annoying beeeeeep beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeep coming from the dash. It was telling me that the back hatch was open on my Kia Sorento. Being the extraordinary perceptive person I am, I pulled to the side of the road, got out, slammed the back hatch shut, and continued on my way. Only the beeping isn't stopping. One more try. Dammit, it's still beeping! If I slam it any harder, the windows are going to shatter. Maybe the beepie thingie in the dash is stuck and if I run over enough pot holes in the road it will shake loose and stop. This did not work. We listened to beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeep all the way to the front door of the eldests work environment. Good gawd!
I got out again, lifted the hatch alllllll the way up this time......and what do you know. If I had done this before, I would of noticed that there was a bungee cord stuck in the way of the sensor.
I am brilliant.
After a quiet ride back home, I was feeling so jubilant that I thought I would take some cans back to the store for my deposits. Great idea, until I'm standing in the garage freaking out because this scary noise is coming from the corner. (Rabid wolverines???) I catch movement out of the corner of my eye, and the ol' heart starts a racing when Sheba (damned cat) comes clammoring over all the junk in the garage shaking so hard I'm sure all her furs going to fall out. She's crying for all she's worth, tail jittering like a flag in high winds. (the i haven't been oiled in 12 years electric garage door probably took 2 years off her life when it went up) Our cats are strictly indoor felines, and for some reason she has a fascination with places she's not allowed to go. After spending the night in the garage, I have a feeling this fascination has about burned itself out. I let her in the house and haven't seen her since.
Scaredy cat.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Cheap Chicken?

The hubby and I were sitting out on the back porch last night groaning about how big our food bill has become since the kids have moved back home. He informed me that chicken is on sale at our local supermarket, and we should go pick up a few. "How can you go wrong when chicken is that cheap cheap" he says. Me: "CHEAP CHEAP"...bwah hahahahhaha! as I slapped him on the knee, get it? "CHEEP CHEEP!" After an awkward moment of eye rolling on his part, we resumed the conversation like the sane adults we are. (I so wanted him to bring up something about beef so I could tell him that it was MOO-sic to my ears...)
He also talked to his boss yesterday about his job. After talking, he decided that he'd go ahead and get the CDL and stick it out for awhile. He was apparently assured that if he had to drive truck all day, someone would actually get off their asses for once over there, and pick up the slack with will-calls, stocking, loading trucks, purchasing, etc. This seemed to make him happy, therefore it makes me happy.
I celebrated by buying a new shower curtain today at Walmart.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

He's Quitting

So, the job thing finally came to a head last night. I suppose I knew it was just seems so final now, and it scares me. Yesterday when the hubby came home he asked if he should just suck it up and get his CDL to conform with the chaos, or quit. I told him if he was unhappy and it wasn't something he wanted to do (which he doesn't) then he should quit. He then retorted with welllllllllllllllllll, maybe he would give it a go and see if it works out. This I expected. Later on that night he had changed his mind. He was worried that I wouldn't stay with him if he was making less in the job market (which it will be less, and no I wouldn't leave him for that) He's been there for 12 years, gets 4 weeks of vacation, and makes enough money that we pay all the bills on time and get to goof off on occasion.
This also struck a nerve with me that of course your going to quit...I was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to finally getting some health insurance after all these years. I found the policy I wanted last week, and was thrilled that I would soon be getting this rotten uterus out. And my vision checked. And my teeth fixed.
Sometimes It's not easy being the lighthouse, all perched on the rocky shore being strong. I'm not a complainer, and i know we can make it work. We've done it before, and it's important to me that he's happpy with what he's doing. He spends more time at work than he does at home, and really.....It's become a huge issue with all the shop bitching about how much he hates it right now.
I would love to have a conversation that revolved around something happy for once.
Like my rotting uterus.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Ready for Camping?

Wasting time this morning until I feel awake enough to hit Walmart for the rest of the camping stuff I need for this weekend. I don't know why I always get stuck doing all the shopping. Already hit the stores once this week, then last night another list has to be made because we just haaaaaaaaaaaave to have all this other stuff.
All I need is a case of beer and some Cheez-Its.
I only need one cooler.
I only need one bag of clothes.
Not this weekend! The entire back of the hubby's truck is stuffed to the top of the cab. I still have to pack all the food in the back of my Kia, stuff 3 adult "kids", my mother and two dogs into the front.
I've had 4 texts this morning from people that are at work that forgot to pack something, and could I please find it and put it in the car? If we were any more organized I'd think we belonged to another family...*lol*
Should be a decent trip though. The weather isn't supposed to be scorching, and getting out of the valley should relieve my bleeding eyes and pounding head. I HATE field burning season.
Got lots of work to do too. Uncle N sent me the checklist from the forest service of what we are supposed to be doing at the cabin to conform with the new fire rules. Need to widen the drive to 12 feet, trim all the tree's to 13-1/2 feet, clean up any brush/needles/itsy bitsy twigs/pine cones. And that's just for the 150 foot+ driveway! I cry to think about all the other stuff that needs to be done within a 2 year radius. I know, 2 years! Sounds like forever, but when you have 5 acres and only get to go up during the summer it's not alot of time. There will be burn piles from hell. (that must be 20 feet from any tree's or dwellings now) sheesh.
Thank goodness for all the kids who love me and work for food up there. Just the 7 of us this weekend, but Labor Day I think we should have the full crew of 12 to 14.
More shopping.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I Think I'm Learning Japanese

I really think so...
Last night the youngest went for his first japanese lesson from our cousin by marriage who lives around the corner. Who better to learn from than someone who is Japanese!
I find it odd that she has two young boys that don't speak it. She says they aren't interested in learning. I would think being bi-lingual that as soon as they were born she would of spoke in both her native language and English naturally. She's thrilled that she finally has someone who wants to learn. I plan on learning too. Apparently it is one of the easier languages to grasp. I would really like to tell someone in Japanese to "get away from me, your armpits smell like garlic." Ah, I do have aspiring goals, do I not?
Her husband who is semi-fluent, loaned us a book which he says teaches the only real phrases we need to know. I wasn't surprised to see that it is Japanese Street Slang. *lol*
I randomly picked a page (132) and my oh my! It's all about orgasms.
And I quote "Anta mo naichatta no? Hayasugi ja nai?"
It says in English: "What, you got off already? That was quick, wasn't it?"
I really must remember this.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Introductions all Around!

Time for introductions, as this is my first blog here at I'll go by DJ, (which really are my initials) because I'm not comfortable using my real name. Why? I've only met one other person in my whole life that has the same name, and OMG what if you recognized me??? And I talked about you??? or *whispers* I talked about sex? Okay, I think that about covers that intrepid thought process.
I'm a 44 year old female, married for the last 15 years to my sometimes ball and chain, and sometimes Prince Charming. That all depends on his mood. He's an Aries...need I say more?
I have two son's, the youngest being 20 - the eldest who is 23, and 10 other assorted children who adopted me, ranging in ages from 18 to 22. I see each and every one of them on a daily basis whether it's here at the house, a text or a phone call. (And I think I have time to blog?) Well, actually they are a part of the reason I'm doing this. I love them, but they drive me nuts, and I can't very well complain about them on MySpace where they would read all about it. Ooo, secrets abound!
Right now I live with 4 of the kids (or they live with me I should say..who pays the bills around here?) My own two boys..the eldest who swears he's never leaving, the youngest whom moved back in 3 months ago minus a job, plus his girlfriend, and an "adoptee" who finally got the balls to leave his girlfriend (domestic violence on her part) and had no where to go.
Then of course we have the cats. Mischief my 14 year old toothless male, Sheba (3) also known as SheBuns (I call her Hank Hill, from King of The Hill, cuz she's all gut and no butt) and her sister Petunia who could really use some therapy. Her idea of a good time is standing in front of the screen door antagonizing the weiner dog till he foams at the mouth. Yeah, there's a dog too. Adoptee kid came with the dog. His name is Solomon, but he kinda got stuck with the name "Bill" because the eldest couldn't remember his name. Now we all call him Bill. Poor dog, maybe he's the one who needs therapy.
So basically, I'm a middle aged woman stuck in a very small house with 5 other people, 3 cats and a dog. Isn't this the time of my life where everyone moves out, not in?
I can only be thankful it's summer so I can go outside and hide behind the shed and pretend I'm weeding the daisy's. I need an ipod. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat I can't hear you i'm listening to Metallica.
Running out of steam here, and by the looks of the clock, time to get out every pot and pan in the kitchen to make dinner for "The Herd" as I call them. I long for the days when I only had to cook for 3. *sigh* I wish I knew some Latin. I don't know why.
Signing off..........DJ